This was inspired by a poem by Rosemerry Whatolah Trommer
As mothers, many of us carry moments of regret-choices or actions from the past that, viewed through the lens of today’s wisdom, I know I do. It’s a deeply human experience to look back and wish we had done things differently. Yet, this reflection is not a burden to bear with harsh judgment, but an invitation to cultivate compassion toward ourselves.
Our journey as mothers is filled with learning, growth, and transformation. Each decision, whether we now see it as right or wrong, has contributed to the beautiful, imperfect tapestry of our lives. Instead of dwelling in regret, we can choose to hold these memories with lovingkindness-acknowledging our humanity, our intentions at the time, and the love that always propped our actions.
In yoga, we practice acceptance and self-compassion, understanding that growth arises from awareness, not self-criticism. Let us extend this same gentle kindness inward, embracing our past with warmth and forgiveness. By doing so, we create space for healing, peace, and deeper connection with ourselves and our children.
Being a mother is not about perfection but presence-being present with love, patience, and kindness, both for our children and for ourselves.
After Six Years, The Mother Struggles Against Regret
It is easy to look back
and think “I could have
done better.” And that is true.
I have given you too many toys.
I taught you growl when you’re
frustrated. (At the time it seemed
better than angry words.)
I have tried to pretend I was not wrong
when I was. I have grubbed
for time alone. Fussed
when I did not get it.
Talked too much on the telephone.
The list coils on itself like a noose
and I wonder in how many ways
I have poisoned the field,
not intentionally, but oh.
I try to tell myself you are like a tree
planted in a shadow. You will bend
toward the sun and find a way to thrive.
Nothing can stop you. We are wired
to struggle, to grapple, to twist,
to stretch, to mature, to survive. It is not
the shadows that shape us
but the reaching for the light.